Most of your application looks great but we would like to see an expansion in the personality section. You've covered Darth Marr's inner qualities nicely but we'd like to see a take on his outer qualities. Basically, how others perceive him and how he presents himself, versus just what goes on inside his head. I'd like to be able to envision him talking, interacting, even moving around, by your description alone.
This doesn't need to be a huge revision. A handful of sentences or another good-sized paragraph should do just fine.
You have 72 hours to complete this revision. If you need more time please let us know.
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timeasmymeasure
PENDING
Date: 2014-02-28 03:56 am (UTC)Most of your application looks great but we would like to see an expansion in the personality section. You've covered Darth Marr's inner qualities nicely but we'd like to see a take on his outer qualities. Basically, how others perceive him and how he presents himself, versus just what goes on inside his head. I'd like to be able to envision him talking, interacting, even moving around, by your description alone.
This doesn't need to be a huge revision. A handful of sentences or another good-sized paragraph should do just fine.
You have 72 hours to complete this revision. If you need more time please let us know.